At tonight's meeting of the Tintern Pravda Editorial Politbureau, the proposed visit of world president Bollick O'Bomber was welcomed as a great boost to local culture and economy. Since the Tintern People's Tractor Plant (TeePeeTeePee) closed with devastating effects on local economy, residents have been having to push shit uphill in barrows and there have been no jobs to be found.
With the proximity of so many potential military targets, it was agreed that a real deterrent was needed in order for the area to survive and prosper. World Leader O'Bomber brings with him the possibility of local manufacture for parts of the warplane named after him, the O'Bomber Bollick.
It is anticipated that the impressive undercarriage will be built partly in Tintern, modeled on local landmarks. A number of volunteers for this challenging work have already stepped forward and a shortlist is expected to be ready in time for the next issue of Tintern Pravda. You will hear it here first.
Other local news concerns a rash of vandalism that has broken out between here and Catbrook. Several flowers have had their heads broken off and a wheel, complete with tyre was seen floating down the river Wye last week. A specialist from London has been called in to investigate these mysterious occurences. Chief Inspector Corner of the Yard is expected to arrive next week and we anticipate that the cuiprits will soon be brought to book.
Talking of books, don't forget that you can get all the reading you are needing from Annie's Print, Paperbacks and Limited Editions (APPLE) right here in Tintern. This people's message is sponsored by Annie herself who pays the entire print costs of the Tintern Pravda newspaper. Available only online, look out for our next edition.
Well, if you can't have a bit of fun on a Friday, when can you?